First time making a political work of (non)art. Alert: contains a medium amount of controversy.
“One man’s loss is another man’s gain”
What do you know? Sleep is luxury for me these days. Damn essays. Damn tests. Damn reports. Damn April, you little….
< HOLDING ON > a fiction
I don’t believe in love. I could envision it. Here I am sitting alone in the dark, trying to make sense of what I’ve just heard about my husband’s infidelity. They say a man showering a woman with love is either just starting to court her, or is cheating on her. The signs said it all… And it makes me feel stupid. Stupid for not hooking up with someone else at work. A fool for never questioning his loyalty to me. A fool for being treated this way, while I deserve much more than that. Then I realize how innocent my belief against divorce from my youthful years was… It’s not all that simple, not when now all I have left is this void in my world. We’ve been married for long, raising our kid and all that. Now, if I try to search for it, it’s already too late. Love has died out. Our love… What used to draw us together is now nonexistant. We’re both no longer our old selves. The weight on my shoulder becomes heavier with every passing minute. I already feel like I’ve lost to the other woman. I try to stand up and fight for my family, for myself and for him… But it’s so incredibly hard. I don’t need him anymore… Whatever happened to my long lost belief in love? I used to worship it… So determined to wait for the right guy to come along that I stayed single for a long time… Does that mean he wasn’t the one? It coulf very well be. Because I had, after all, been waiting for so long. Do I want to fight this fight? Can I? The thought of having to bring him back, while keeping a serene and calm facade makes me sick… I’ve always hated lies and deceitfulness… To fight for a man who had deceived me sounds unfathomable. How could he be so heartless? Irresponsible and inconsiderate to my feelings? Or… Is it because we’ve been growing apart? The passion between us has long taken its toll… And I admit work has been my top, and major concern that consumes most of my time. Perhaps there’s still a chance. I’ll at least try before calling it a defeat.
Poème publié le 16/05/2009 par so0n
Je ne te comprends pas
Cela me trouble parfois
Mais je ne sais pas pourquoi
Je ne peux me passer de toi
Je ne pensais pas en arriver là
Ne pas pouvoir vivre sans toi
Tu n’oses pas en parler
Mais si tu ne veux pas dévoiler
Ce secret
Ca ne pourra jamais s’arranger
Et je ne pourrai pas t’aider
Je ne veux pas te perdre
Tu ne fais qu’un avec mon être
Je n’ai jamais eu la foi
Mais pour toi elle est là
je t’aime bébé.
Robot- Never Shout Never
**
I’m just a robot, I have no fears,
I lack emotion and I shed no tears.
I’m just a coma, a deadly sleep
My heart is breakin’ but I just can’t weep.
So dear I want you to cry,
And I want you to cry for me.
I don’t want you to lie to me,
And say that it will be alright.
And I want you to say goodbye,
But boy I want you to mean it.
And I want you to find a girl,
Who’s gonna treat you right.
I’m just a virus inside your head,
You lay awake in your hospital bed
I ain’t no doctor, but I know you’re sick.
Sick of the bullshit and the state I’m in.
So dear I want you to cry,
And I want you to cry for me.
I don’t want you to lie to me,
And say that it will be alright.
And I want you to say goodbye,
But boy I want you to mean it.
And I want you to find a girl,
Who’s gonna treat you right.
I’ll never treat you right.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no
Mike Posner - Please Don’t Go (by MikePosnerVEVO)
————
Don’t know why, but I can’t help but think this is totally Peeta’s song to Katniss. Haha.
Suave, sweet just like his likeable and charming character; and a tinge of longing. Totally screams dying devotion.
Faults & Weaknesses
(somewhere, deep in the darkest of the dark, a small illuminating glow moves slowly, fighting its way through the vast universe that is the mysterious “X”)
Cadet: Captain, we have a problem.
Captain: What is it, Cadet?
Cadet: Between suffering from the realization of your own faults and suffering from hardships; which would you rather take on?
Captain: I would take on both.
Cadet: But sir, you have a choice.
Captain: And my choice you’ve had.
Would it make me stronger? Or would I be unable to pull myself out of the sandtrap of faults and weaknesses?
4/4/12
I need to get a driver’s license!! And a car!!! I need it so badly :((
Z. I want to be an intern at Portland COLAB
Y. I need to intern at a few firms in different industries
i. I need a car in order to get a job
> I need to get a driver’s license & a car…
> I need to somehow work this out…either with Mai or some other way!! Fast!!
ii. I need to have lots of knowledge on Marketing, Management and PR stuff
> I need to make time for reading these!
Along with worrying about an internship, I also need to get good grades, read business-relevant books, keep up with my hobby, watch my weight, look good as to not waste my youthful look, and enjoy life (without a boyfriend).
The last one seems impossible, for now.
P.S.: Why do people keep looking at me like that? Do they even know me??? If yes, HOW??
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Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it.
It’s a fact that nothing good comes out of us being together. I’ll feel weird, unsatisfied and unfair for feeling this way. He’ll end up being hurt, even if he doesn’t say it.
So, brush off your temptation girl, and get on with your life.
Being alone and so far from home is indeed, lonely.
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